Articles completely contrary to nature, reason, and/or common sense.   

Preposterous Stories: 

A Walk through History

  Earling Carothers Garrison was born in Iowa in 1921. 

As an adult Earling Carothers moved to New Orleans, Louisiana, and in 1960, at the age of 39, changed his name to Jim Garrison.  During WWII Jim Garrison’s National Guard Unit was activated and he spent the war manning a desk.  After the war, Garrison wanted to continue with the Guard but an Army doctor diagnosed him with severe mental problems and he was discharged.  The psychiatrist, concluded in his written report that Garrison had a "…severe and disabling psychoneurosis" which "… interfered with his social and professional adjustment to a marked degree. He is considered totally incapacitated from the standpoint of military duty and moderately incapacitated in civilian adaptability."  Discharged from the Guard, Garrison attended Tulane University where he studied Law and, although a lackluster student, eventually managed to pass the Bar.  With Law Degree in hand, Garrison called upon high-level cronies and managed to get hired by the FBI, where he spent less than two years as an agent, compiling an unimpressive record.  By this time Jim Garrison had discovered the “wheeling and dealing” world of New Orleans politics and eventually succeeded in getting himself elected District Attorney.

Jim Garrison then set out to “clean up” the red-light district.

Garrison was drawn, it seems, to the seamy side of society… to the dark world of homosexuals, prostitutes and pimps.  The new DA had them arrested, dragged downtown and charged, where they were promptly released.  At the same time, Garrison’s bank accounts mysteriously grew larger.  After the Kennedy Assassination, Garrison (a Radical Democrat and Huey Long worshipper), saw his opportunity for fame and fortune.  (For more on Huey Long, see FNO page seven, the Father of the Modern Democratic Party.)  Like his idol, the Kingfish, Jim Garrison had grandiose ideas and was determined to become involved in the biggest story of the decade.  His scheme began when he hastily pasted together a shaky case against a homosexual New Orleans businessman named, Clay Shaw.  Garrison’s case depended upon a collection of pimps, prostitutes, and homosexuals who could be easily intimidated.  There were allegations that many of his witnesses were drugged and forced to undergo hypnosis.  It took a New Orleans Jury mere hours to find Clay Shaw innocent of any involvement in the Assassination of the President.

After this moment in the spotlight… in 1973 Jim Garrison received just a small dose of what he had put Clay Shaw through when he was indicted and tried for accepting bribes to protect illegal pinball machine operations.  He was acquitted, lived quietly for a few years, then ran for a state judgeship.  He spent the rest of his life as an unimportant local judge… totally out of the spotlight.  Jim Garrison died of cancer in 1992.

For FNO by Uriah Puddlesmith....

Beam us up Scotty!

In 1977 the National Aeronautics and Space Administration launched Voyager I amidst a good deal of fanfare.  One of two nuclear powered space spacecraft launched that year; NASA recently announced that Voyager I has become the first man made object to leave our solar system.  NASA calculates the spacecraft left the solar system’s magnetic field in August of 2012.  The spacecraft has outlived its original mission to the planets and continues to beam back particle data from 12 billion miles away.  Voyager I should maintain power until around 2025.

For FNO October, 2013

The Ravishing Ms. Garafolo

There’s a solid rumor making the rounds that Barrack Obama and Janeane have been conducting a steamy long-range affair.  Rumors are flying that the pair have had numerous rendezvous’ in Washington DC at the Watergate Complex.  According to high placed sources, Janeane Garofalo has been overheard to say “Barrack Obama and I are kindred spirits, I can not conceive of a future without my darling Barry.” .

Karl Marx
19th century social malcontent and agitator


Karl Marx said: 

There is a specter haunting Europe, the specter of Communism.

America's Senator

By Wilber Pecksniff for FNO  


September, 2014 

The Senator, let’s call him, Larry Tweed, began life in a dusty little desert town in Nevada, let’s call the town, Porchlight, which was known for Mojave cactus, chain link, and a certain cluster of trailers with red lights over their doors.  Larry wasn’t good in school and was going nowhere.  However, entering his teens young Larry accepted an opportunity to move to, let’s call the place, Gunderson, Nevada, where he boarded with an older couple heavily involved in shady trade-union activities.  Sensing ambition in the young desert urchin, the elderly couple urged Larry to attend high school in Gunderson.  The town we’re calling Gunderson is a working class community south of Las Vegas; actually the real Gunderson is in reality a suburb of Vegas.  The young bumpkin took their advice.  Although he would never be an outstanding student---being somewhat slow and dull---Larry did manage to meet, let’s call him, Mickey O'Halloran, a young teacher from a well-connected Nevada family.  After high school, Larry Tweed attended Junior College and eventually earned an Associate Degree, which probably would have been the end of his accomplishments in academia but for a fortunate turn of events.

This was the late 1950’s and Wilber Clark’s Desert Inn was one of the first hotel casinos on the famous Las Vegas Strip.  The resort boasted an eighteen-hole golf course and personalities from all over came there to play with the rich and famous.  Young Larry Tweed, with a recommendation from his elderly Gunderson patrons to local union bosses, was fortunate enough to land a gig caddying on the plush links of the Desert Inn course.  Upon one occasion, the twenty year old from Porchlight found himself carrying the bags of Moe Dalitz (a member of the Cleveland mob) who had a young friend from Chicago with him that day, a thirty-year old named, let’s call him, Hank Rosenbalm.  Rosenbalm and Tweed established a relationship of sorts and became silent partners.  On the golf course at the Desert Inn, Rosenbalm advised Tweed who was attending college and obviously ambitious, “If you want to succeed in Nevada business join the Mormon Church, the Mormons run this state.”  A year later, Larry Tweed married his high school sweetheart and both of them joined the LDS Church.

Hank Rosenbalm had powerful friends in Chicago who had budding business interests in Nevada, so, Hank talked his pals into sponsoring a young Mormon named, Larry Tweed.  Among his Chicago pals, Hank had a nickname; they called him, “Lefty”. 

With Lefty’s help, Tweed somehow found the money to attend law school and later was admitted to the bar in Nevada.  Thereafter, Larry Tweed, fresh out of law school, ran for City Attorney for Gunderson, Nevada and amazingly he won.  There’s an unconfirmed story that Larry Tweed got carried away with his new power and was stiff-arming his sponsors in Chicago, going his own way in a vending machine operation and freezing out the bosses.  Lefty Rosenbalm invited Tweed on a pleasure trip to Chicago to meet Frank Sinatra who was performing there.  Then, after having his photo taken with Sinatra, Larry Tweed was escorted by Lefty to an empty warehouse where he was forced to sit in a chair in the center of the expanse.  The warehouse was dank and dark, a shaft of silvery light poured through broken windows and splashed over Larry Tweed’s frightened features, the young attorney’s glasses were askance.  After awhile, the Boss of Chicago politics walked up, his bulky frame partially obscured in the shadows, but Larry could hear his rasping voice and see the puffs of smoke from his cigar.

The photo above is of the former Senator Harry Reid of Nevada.  Harry Reid is a Democrat and very Left Wing.  He’s a mutli-millionaire and by coincidence all his family members are millionaires.  He has spent his whole life in Nevada government.  Notice... Harry Reid rhymes with Larry Tweed… Geez!  Another coincidence?

Larry Tweed knew who the MAN was.
The Boss explained to the young entrepreneur from Gunderson just what would happen to him if he didn’t get back in line.  Larry began to sniffle; he shook violently and urinated in his trousers, a yellow stain spreading out around his feet.  Lefty Rosenbalm snickered and handed Larry Tweed (Democrat, Nevada) a towel, then took him back to his hotel room.  Message received! 

Larry Tweed has never gone against Chicago interests after that day.  Later, the bosses in Chicago used his experience in Gunderson politics as a springboard for their protégé into the Nevada Assembly and, after that, they sponsored Larry for Lieutenant Governor, while at the same time, electing Mickey O’Halloran as Governor.  By this time, Larry’s Chicago sponsor, Lefty Rosenbalm, was older and more mature and had become a powerful figure in Las Vegas.  

One day, Lefty left word for the young rising-star of Nevada politics to meet him at the regular place.  The regular place was a roadhouse in Overton, Nevada.  Overton is a dusty little desert town located 65 miles northeast of Las Vegas.  For Lefty Rosenbaum and Larry Tweed, it had the benefit of being completely out of the way; a place where they could discuss Chicago business without being observed or overheard.  The immoral relationship between the two men was their secret; in fact, in public they were known to be enemies.  The reason for the clandestine meeting was Chicago had decided they needed Tweed on the Nevada Gaming Commission.  Which came as a shock to Larry Tweed; and, although he had planned to succeed his mentor Mickey Halloran as Governor, Tweed shrugged, looked across the table at Lefty and nodded meekly.  Perhaps, at that moment, Larry Tweed had stared into Lefty’s eyes and recalled a certain warehouse in Chicago.  Soon after the Overton meeting, Tweed was appointed to head up the Nevada Gaming Commission. 

Thereafter, Larry Tweed, his hair having turned a distinguished gray, engaged in a befuddling struggle with Lefty Rosenbalm.  On the Commission, Larry Tweed appeared to vigorously pursue Rosenbalm—over alleged mob ties that somehow could never be proven—however, never seeming to catch him.  The idea behind their performance was… The honest politician, Tweed, intended to deprive the mob associate, Rosenbalm, of his Casino interests and strip him of his license to run gambling establishments in Nevada.  Over time, the two best Performance Artists in Nevada carried on with the public charade.  Their performance meant to pull the wool over the eyes of the public.  To Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Nevada, Tweed and Rosenbalm were archenemies—Sylvester the Cat and Tweety-Bird—but actually this was a strategy the two associates had worked out beforehand.  In reality, Lefty Rosenbalm remained a POWER in Las Vegas all through Larry Tweed’s reign on the Gaming Commission.  He remained powerful only because the Chicago mob had at least one secret vote on the Commission they could always count on.      

Next stop for Larry Tweed was the Senate of the United States and with Chicago money behind him, the “distinguished” Nevada politician ran for the Senate and has been there ever since.  

Larry Tweed (Democrat, NV) America’s Senator.

Most of the men who gave the facts of this story to an unimpeachable source over fifteen years ago have since passed away.  One source for this article had long discussions with the late “Hank Rosenbalm”, during which the Chicago Associate verified the facts.  The only reason this story hasn’t been published sooner is that fifteen years ago the author would have gotten whacked.  Now in 2014 there is a new order within the Chicago Mob and where Vegas is concerned, they have turned their backs on the old ways.  The new order believes in order and silence.   The new myth is:  The mob in Vegas doesn’t exit. 

Satire is literature in which the shortcomings of the powerful are held up to the light of day, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, governmental organizations, and society itself, into improvement.  Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive, using exaggeration as a weapon or as a tool to draw attention to both particular and wider issues of corruption in high places.  One method of using Satire to reveal the truth is simply to tell the truth but exaggerate the names; the Dicken’s method.  Sometimes, Satire has been used to reveal truths that otherwise would have gotten the authors killed.  As for example, in Elizabethan England to illuminate the shortcomings of corrupt politicians, and during the Spanish Inquisition to reveal the shortcoming of corrupt government officials, or during the Obama Regime to shed light on rampart corruption in high places.  Sometimes, Satire reveals more truth than one would find in say, the pages of the New York Times

The photo above is of the late Mafia associate and gambler Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal.  Lefty Rosenthal was big in Las Vegas all throughout the years Harry Reid was powerful on the Nevada Gaming Commission.  After Lefty became the object of an attempted assassination he left Las Vegas for good.  Notice Frank Rosenthal sort of rhymes with Hank Rosnbaum


THE TWO BILLS       by  Josiah Peernsniff     June, 2014

The two Bills share a laugh together.  Were they comparing notes on their latest sexual conquests?  Was Cosby giving Clinton an address where hypnotic drugs could be purchased?  Were they discussing their latest escapades in the secret grotto at Hefner’s Hollywood mansion?

It was during the nineteen-seventies that our two Bills managed to attain their goals in higher education, Bill Cosby at Temple University where he earned a PhD and Bill Clinton at Yale where he earned a law degree.  And, at the same time, within the era of the nineteen seventies, the star of a small time smut peddler named Hugh Hefner, the man who had created Playboy Magazine, was also rising. 

Hefner first published his dirty magazine out of his garage in Chicago in the nineteen fifties but it wasn’t until the seventies that the magazine took off and a sick sex-obsessed empire was the result.  Hefner established his empire’s California headquarters exactly where one would expect, near Hollywood, at a plush Holmby Hills mansion.  Hef as he became known throughout the entertainment industry, created an empire from peddling dirty pictures that promoted an all-pervasive negative attitude toward women which had a profound effect on any number of men, especially, it seems… our two Bills. 

While the Playboy Empire was taking shape… the careers of our two Bills began to reach into the stratosphere of success.  And, like many other seemingly successful men, in the era of Playboy Magazine’s centerfold of the month, our two Bills were hiding terrible secrets from the public.  Judging from decades of public records “secret sexual proclivities” aptly describes the twisted psyches of Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton.


Hefner and the Bill Cosby were the best of friends as seen in the photo above sharing secrets.  Were they talking about trysts in the secret grotto in the Hollywood mansion?  Cosby with a beautiful young bikini clad woman at his disposal Hefner accompanied by a buffed hunk in a speedo.  Was Hugh Hefner informing Bill Cosby that Bubba would join them at their next carnival?   

In the seventies the two Bills, having just completed their education, began their rise to stardom… the career of Bill Cosby (who was already somewhat known) took off in the world of entertainment while at the same time Bill Clinton’s career began to find success within the world of politics.  Armed with a fistful of fame, Bill Cosby began hanging out with Hefner at his California Mansion while in Arkansas; Bill Clinton was elected State Attorney General with a little help from his wealthy family and billionaire patrons.  But... what no one knew… what no one would have believed… is:  our two Bills preyed upon defenseless women. 

The office of Attorney General suited Bill Clinton perfectly… giving him a free pass to abuse women.  It was during this time (nineteen seventy-eight) he raped Juanita Broaddrick, who was a young registered nurse with a naïve passion for liberal politics and a mission for helping the poor.  Juanita was a successful RN who naively saw liberal politics as a means of service, a way to give something back to society for her success.  It was her fondness for politics that brought her into Bubba’s sphere.  Bill Clinton spotted the young nurse among his female fans and judged her to be an easy target.  According to Broaddrick, Bill Clinton got her alone (by deceptive means) in a hotel room and violently raped her.  When Clinton finished with Juanita she was bleeding from her lip where in bestial passion he had bit her.  Terrified, she watched her rapist as he adjusted his clothing, went over to the open door, put on his Gucci sunglasses, turned and said, “You’d better put something on that lip.”  Then he walked out of the room, leaving his victim sprawled on the couch, clutching her ripped clothing up about her nakedness, sobbing. 

Juanita was desperate to tell someone but became convinced no one would believe her if she reported the rape---after all he was the Attorney General of Arkansas and she was nobody---so she kept the terrible secret to herself.  Chillingly, after the assault, Juanita began receiving threatening phone calls, the calls were always the same… a female voice would call her a WHORE and threaten her with vicious retaliation if she ever mentioned the Attorney General’s name.  Were those calls made by Hillary Clinton attempting a little damage control?  No one really knows for sure.  But… over the years… Bubba has been accused by perhaps as many as a dozen women of sexual misconduct.  Bill Clinton has a modus operandi… he lures women with promises of gaining status in liberal politics then reveals the price of participation… the female victim must submit to sexual slavery… that is, the victim is required to perform oral sex on him or some other degrading sexual act.

Meanwhile... while Bill Clinton was indulging himself in Arkansas... the other Bill (Bill Cosby) was just completing his education at Temple University where he was awarded a PhD.  After which, his acting and comedy career took off and he became a staple of American television which led to his meeting Hugh Hefner.  The pornographer and the comedian struck up a friendship and Cosby became a regular at the California Playboy mansion. 

There was a nickname among the hangers-on at the California mansion for Bill Cosby… he was known as The Cos.  The nineteen and twenty year old women who lived at the Holmby Hills Mansion (hoping desperately for a career in show business) were occasionally required to entertain VIP’s like Cosby and upon these occasions they were ordered to refer to him submissively as “The Big Cos”.  Since those first heady days at the mansion being worshiped by extremely young girls paid to entertain Hefner’s guests, Bill Cosby’s sexual predilections have been made public by upwards of forty women who have accused him of drugging them and sexually molesting them.  Bill Cosby like Bill Clinton had a modus operandi… he would drug women who trusted him because they thought he would help them with their careers in show business and while they were half unconscious Cosby would rape and molest them.  Like history’s Marquis de Sade, Bill Cosby is totally obsessed with exercising power over helpless female victims.

Judging from their unsavory pasts, both Bills obviously believe women are on earth for their twisted pleasures.  Neither of the two Bills ever seems to have considered or contemplated the feelings of their female victims, which is a hallmark of the “Playboy” experience.   How have the two Bills gotten away with their hidden sadistic attitudes toward women for all these years? 

Fame, fortune, political influence… that’s how.

Money and liberal political power have enabled the two Bills to freely indulge their dirty secret passions.  Bill Cosby and Hugh Hefner have over the years contributed thousands of dollars to Bill and Hillary Clinton’s various political campaigns.  Although, for obvious reasons, there are no easily obtained photos of Bill or Hillary Clinton in the presence of Hugh Hefner (the rising political stars would never be photographed with a known pornographer) there are credible reports that Hugh Hefner and Bill Clinton are the best of pals.  Salacious stories abound of Hugh Hefner entertaining both Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby at his Mansions over the years.  In the case of at least one teenager Bill Cosby is accused of molesting… the crime is alleged to have occurred upon the grounds of Hefner’s California Mansion.


Bill Cosby is a superstar among Liberal Democrats.  In the photo above, he holds court while in the background, Senator Chuck Schumer, Hillary Clinton and first daughter Chelsea Clinton look on adoringly.  Over the decades Cosby has contributed thousands of dollars to Hillary’s various political campaigns.  Cosby has clout with Liberal Politicians because of his ability to influence other Hollywood heavyweights and moneymen to contribute.  Big political contributions have given the Big Cos cover thorough the years for his peculiar sexual proclivities.

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby proclaim innocence but they have a serious problem with that defense… dozens of women have accused them.  In the case of Cosby something like fifty women have accused him of drugging and sexually molesting them.  While in the case of Bill Clinton the numbers are not so daunting… maybe as many as a dozen women have accused Bill Clinton.  But, at least one of those women has accused Bill Clinton of rape, which if it had been prosecuted would mean that instead of being a respected ex-President in the year 2018… he would instead be an ex-con from Arkansas.  Oh well… perhaps in an alternate universe they have a better justice system then we do and there Bill Clinton is receiving his just desserts.  However, at least in the case of one of the Bills, the accusations may have finally caught up with the Big Cos who is being prosecuted by the justice system for his alleged molestation of an underage person.  His accuser is Andrea Constand who alleges being drugged and assaulted by Bill Cosby at his Elkins Park, Pennsylvania mansion in January 2004.

Even the Ancient Romans understood the dilemma… leaving history with the maxim… Fiat justitia ruat caelum.  Meaning…Let justice be done though the heavens fall.

UPDATE 2018: 

Comedian Bill Cosby stood trial in Pennsylvania on a 2004 indecent assault case brought against him in 2016.   Eventually, Cosby was convicted and is presently serving what may turn out to be a life sentence for the 78-year-old rapist. 

Hugh Hefner passed away at the age of ninety-one in September of 2017.  After his death his previous reputation as an ageless womanizer has taken some hits.  It seems that many believe Hef was much more interested in young men with a large package than he was in young women with large breasts.